1:53am: le sigh...
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remember those old pepe le pue cartoons that they used to play when we were little or saturday mornings?? and whenever the cat that always crawled under the fence and got a white stripe on her back from the wet paint was tired and bored or extreamly satified with the way her life was going before pepe tried to mollest her she'd always say, "le sigh" HAHA cuz it was sposed to be in french?!
yeah... i totally just remembered that. and thats how i've been feeling so you know i thought i'd use that as a title!
its just been odd lately. i havent been down at all... like everyone around me is taken, or engaged, or married for that matter. but i'm not. usually i really am and it gets to me and i'm all aingsty in this deal but its just not so!
i'm not really sure why, but i'm cool with it:)
i dunno, i think its partly cuz i'm sorta happier with myself than before. i quit drinking and i've stuck to it so far actually, i really dont think i'm gonna fall back into my old habits like my swearing is alot better now too. and i feel a TON better about that. and i havent been just jumping into meaningless things either *thats been a few months actually* and honestly i feel like a better person for that as well. his house meetings started back up today and it was awesome to be back there. its just a really peaceful environment. it just gets me through stuff... its hard to explain.
and i really do think theres another deal as to why i'm so... i dunno.. non-depressed? lol too. but theres seriously no explination for that seeing as it hasnt really gone newhere at all. but its the little things. the little things matter... alot.
i called my sister today. we talked for like 2 hours... it was awesome. and we compared recent dreams we've had. and she definately had a dream that i was gonna get married in like 5 years or so to a slightly tall guy, that was rather handsome... blondish brown hair ( you know like highlights?) and we had 4 kids... all girls... one might have been a boy she couldnt remember.
now this is crazy.
cuz when my family has dreams... they come to pass. dont ask. they just do. we're odd like that, call us witches... call us lucky... call us nuts. whatever. it happens...
well after recent findings... that shall not be put into detail. lol
this lines up scarily with something... and i'm amazed by that actually. seeing as a few months ago i got my palm read and it told me the same thing... they couldnt make out if the 4th was a boy or not cuz that spot in my hand had a scar over it from drumming. which also lines up with something else that shall be not put into detail.
so i'm uber amazed at that really. and as ash knows i totally said something last night that was uber random. and when we say something it comes to pass in my family. especially when you say it absentmindedly... like if its totally subconcious. and it just slipped out... but i tell you. i'm not gonna argue:D lol.
newho... i think the fact that things arent suckin in that deal is awesome... i mean its not like everythings swimming along amazingly. but i find myself being unable to be pessimistic whole heartedly about it. and as you all know who your reading about here... that takes alot for me. for some reason... i just cant seem to be down about this.
fingers crossed... everyone find some religion and pray for me. this one's gonna take all the help i can get lol.
i just know 3 things:
1. my hair is really short now.
2. i'm going to bed.
and
3. he's amazing.
|transmission ended|
Current Mood: 
unreasonably happy lol
Current Music: celtic-ey stuff from ash's laptop:)