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25th October 2005

8:24pm: HEY!!!
everyone who left me a comment go check your friends cuz i added you:)

i'll be posting there from now on!

lovies:)

24th October 2005

11:57pm: attention!
new LJ and sn... if you want it leave me a comment here and i'll get it to you by adding you as a friend of my new one and then you can add me:)

people suck. so sorry about the secret agent moves i have to pull. lol

ps. some boys are amazing:)
6:51pm: whoever fucked with my journal will answer to me. seriously... fucking ass wipes.

23rd October 2005

2:58pm: BEST. NIGHT. EVER.
"HEY! I was devoted to kaylen the whole night damnit."

"my earing kept falling in my boobs all night."

"come back mister cop!... tell us where we are!!!"

"i want an effin taco."

BK Maddie... you cant handle it.

"shit! i forgot my name!... who am i again?"

"we drove the taco back to the cheek?!?!"


tickle my fancy.

"no problem doodis... DOODIS?!"

"look at this fucking david copperfield shit!... its like magic and shit!"

"dodge ford rango truck."

"this fucking focus can take it... it can hop it!"

"ok cut the shit."


"sheeat beeach"

"that fucking beast work bitch it up!... i dont know what that means."

ew. taco munchers.


"AHH! hes taking us into the ghetto to kill us!.... dont get out of the vehicle! JUST DRIVE."


without a doubt the best night i've had in a looooooooooooong time.
i missed someone alot tho:( but i'll see them soon. besides i need to not miss him so much as it is. but everytime i try not too and to just not care... he does something cuter! its just not cool! lol. anyways... i need a shower.

and in conclusion of my weekend heres what i've found to be true:

-always leave your own parties if their dull and go to another kegger. you'll get a job out of it:)
-take a chance and buy 4 dollar fancy undies from hot topic. hott lesbians will hit on you.
-take a good friend soup when their sick, the person you like will appreciate it more that the sickey lol
-showers... are the shit.
-and i really miss my little gentleman:)

|transmission ended|
Current Mood: completely happy
Current Music: all falls down: kanye west

19th October 2005

2:03am: all smiles on this end:D
so i havent been this happy in forever.

there is seriously only like one thing that could make this better... or person rather.

 my job is going well, i'm in a way better apartment now with better people, my cars been acting very well, pay day is this thursday and i actually have gas in my car, and i'm practically stress free.

everything is better... well will be officially tomorrow afternoon. i have space to breathe. no petty bullshit drama and i'm free to live my life without dealing with anyone but me.

everyones prolly already found this sensation but you'll have to forgive me cuz this is new to me LOL.

i have the smallest room but the biggest closet. more than enough room for my clothes and all my shiz, my sister is helping me get the rest of my stuff out of hell tomorrow where it'll be safe and with me or at my rents house. and my room is all set up already:) i just have my tv stand, desk and all my big furniture to get and bring over or put into storage.
i have my own posters on my own walls. i have my stuff where i want it. a huge bed. a huge dresser. awesome roomates and a crap ton of room on the walls to put more stuff where i want to put it:)

if you dont appreciate having your own space... you should.

well tomorrows moving more crap, signing off crap, signing on crap, and band. and jon and i gotta find some time to get out to ptown and back for halloween business;) stay tuned for more on that:D before bible study gotta get keys for the new place and happliy turn in the ones for the old one.

and i really should be hittin up the fabric stores this weekend for band banquit dress ideas:) thats gonna be so much fun.. so pumped to go to banquit this year:) totally never wanted to go before.


wait... does neone here that?... the sounds of non-bitching:)... ah... music to my ears.

goodnight everyone. i'm watching a movie in MY ROOM to put myself to sleep.

FABULOUS.

|transmission ended|
Current Mood: completely at peace:)
Current Music: the first wives club on my tv:)

14th October 2005

3:11am: ok for serious update now...
so i've determined a few things lately that  i know for absolute certainty.

1. i'm finishing this season of BMB.
i'm not gonna lie... this year blows. most of the people who i was staying for are gone now. either graduated or moved on... i mean honestly can you blame them!? so i almost quit... twice. but theres a few new people that make me wanna stay... and the old ones that were amazing to begin with so i'll stay for them. theres 1 person i'm closer with now than i ever thought i'd be. and another person who i cant believe i actually found. so its just like i can deal... i hope. and i'm gonna try! lol


2. i'm way more devoted than i was.
that prolly makes no sense but oh well. cuz it makes sense to me and prolly like another 5 people so whatev. i can deal with noone understanding that cuz the one person who needs to understand it does:) and thats all that matters. i've gotten better about keeping promise i make to myself, which is something i rarely do. i always keep them for other people but never for me. so i wanna get better at that. like no swearing, and not drinking, and keeping closer to my faith. i've been better and i know that i'll never be perfect. but i can be way better about it.

3. ashley partica is a poop head.
she knows why. lol.. yet i cant remember tho. :).. but she just reminded me... and yes. she is still a poophead.

4. i'm not doing winterline this year.
the funds are just not allowing it. with the amount of cash i owe mcp that i'd have to pay in order to do coast (where i really wanna be) is rediculous seeing as i'd still have to pay coast. so yeah... not so much. besides... i have another like 2 years before i age out... and i need to work and get my hands up to calibur. besides... i'd like to actually have a life outside of work and drumming. not gonna lie... i mean i love to drum dont get me wrong. and i wanna go for it for school this fall too. but i just need to, i dunno... breathe? and i cant do that if all i'm ever doing it playing drums and working my ass off here in kzoo in order to just have enough gas money to get to practice that they're not paying me for. bmb killed that for me this year. so not happenin.

5. i'm gonna read the bible.
nope, not just a chapter... like the whole flippin thing. i mean come on dude... if your gonna believe in something and live by it you need to first understand it and know it. therefore i'm reading it. should take me oh i dunno... about a year? LOL!

6. i'm gonna write my really close friends at other schools.
like doobie and les and fuzz. i'm totally gonna write them snail mail style:)! its always fun to get things like that in the mail and i like to write real letters and i def wanna keep in better touch with them. i dont wanna be one of those people who bump into their old friends at the punch table at the reunion and have to fake smile their way to  the cookies lol. so yeah much with the writing lol..

7. i will eventually grow enough balls to say something to someone.
scouts right, he cant read minds. and theres no way of knowing anything without asking for myself face to face and just putting myself out there like i did last night with a certain jerk that will remain nameless. but the thing is... i know now. you know? and i'm there, i know where i stand. i'm standing there. and its like "whats next?... oh wait. nothing... chill. peace out." if i have to say peace out thats fine cuz hes still an amazing person... but if i dont then its even more amazing. but i'm sick of sitting in the bathroom without a nightlight. so i'm gonna change the light bulb.

yeah thats prolly about everything there. and i seeing as i dont work again until next thursday i'm thrilled!!! lol. and i have a date to band prom:D oh scout you are my little gentleman. LOL

"praise be to him from all those who follow, for he lifts us up."

night all.
|transmission ended|



Current Mood: determined
Current Music: system of a down: BYOB

13th October 2005

1:08am: so i have no life. and theres nothing to talk about LOL.

so i havent updated... whatev.

BUT! i do have tomorrow completely off... so im gonna go work out!:) and hang with some peeps at kvcc.

|transmission ended |

2nd October 2005

6:02pm: dunzo.
anyone want my spot in this apartment? cuz its yours. you can even have my deposite.

this is rediculous bullshit and i'm done with it.
its not just one thing... its alot of stuff thats never gonna change SO i'm peacin out. i'll stay here until someone moves in for me. then after that whatev.

dont talk to me about it or try to sympathize cuz you cant.

28th September 2005

1:04am: "whats with these homies dissin my girl?"
so i now have the most emo LJ and myspace/blog ever. its just amazing lol

sometimes life is awesome.
.... sometimes.

SO if you just read my journal through my friends page make sure you take the time to click over and look at my journal!

lol its so mocking over half the LJ users ever. LMAO... sigh, good times.

so i'm still a little sick... bah to that:( but i'm actually in really good sorts these days:)
still dont drink... still dont smoke. still going to church and bible study with jon and scout is awesomely fun:) i'm just generally happy and at peace with everything... accept BMB. it blows this year. and not cuz of how its run cuz monty is still awesome in my opinion and casey, cam and marc are amazing as always... and casey's stopped yelling this year! but i cant deal with our section leader... he blows. he lucked into the possision and he doesnt deserve it. pretty much the entire line feels this way... even the newbies that dont know ne better. so that tells you that. so this is pretty much my last year... like jon wont be there next season so i might MIGHT MIGHT come back... but it pretty much looks like winterline for me from now on... besides it'd be awesome to actually see a game without a uniform on or having to ask permission to use the bathroom... i've never done that.

but heres breaking news! i actually have a date with someone who's not an asshole this week:D... no need to discuss details. BUT i'm pumped... not in the least bit nervous... and that for real! lol... so that confuses me... theres way too many buttons on my shirt!!! AH!

but i'm kinda sleepy... and dunzo with looking at a computer screen SO.. i'm getting away from my desk:)


|transmission ended|
Current Mood: still a little sick:(
Current Music: weezer of course:)

26th September 2005

11:51pm: blah.
wow... heres something i havent done in forever.

so whats new... absolutely nothing.

band and work... and now coast stress to add into the mix cuz of auditions.
so its all just a huge mix.

and now i'm sick... so i'm really blah lol.

this is def the last year of BMB. i cant deal with the people nemore. and that used to be the only reason i'd come back. oh well... you move on. it just henders my hands and practice time neways. and the people i come back for are either done after this year or just not coming back.

i dunno. BLAH. i'm gonna go practice. i want this really bad.

|transmission ended|
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: me hacking incesantly

12th September 2005

11:18pm: in honor of ashie p... the roomie.
so ash asked me to tell this story on here cuz she said it would make an amazing LJ post.... so! here goes nothing.

HOW CHINGY'S BACK-UP HOMEBOYS WERE FOUND CHILLIN IN MY APARTMENT

so i went to visit my mom after dance class yesterday and i'm running back to my apartment after that cuz i really really need to change into church appropriate clothes before the gathering cuz i was meeting sandi at the bernhard center. well i get to my apartment and i forgot that drew left for work before i went to my moms ( i thought he was still in the apartment ) so i left the door unlocked. well i get back and as i'm opening the door someone else is too. and i find not drew or ash on the otherside of the door BUT this kid who looks like he just popped out of a chingy video! and this was not the holiday inn ok?... so i was like wtf? what are you doing here??!... and hes like, "wheres anna?.. you know this white chick. she said she lives here and that the door would be open so come on in. she dont live here?" ... wait pardon me... let me re-write that i dont wanna mis-quote the kid.

" whurs anna.. u no dis white chick, she had dun said she live hur. and to just come on up in hur. where she at?!"

lol. ok so... now that thats cleared up. did i mention that he had a beer? and did i also mention that when i got in there to close the door and kick the kid out and lock it there was another one of chingy's homies behind the door?!?!... yes thats right... 2 of them.
the rest went like this. basically he asked if she lived there again. and i said no... as they were leaving cuz i consistantly looked at them like are you flippin kidding me?! get the pete out of my apartment! they proceeded to ask:

1. if anna lived there again.
2. if they had the wrong apartment.
3. did i live alone

and heres the kicker.

4. if i had a boyfriend.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? YOU JUST BASICALLY BROKE AND ENTERED AND COULD HAVE POSSIBLY STOLEN SOME OF MY SHIZ THAT I HAVENT DISCOVERED MISSING YET AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO HIT ON ME?!?...

just like a ghetto asshole. i swear. thats just the most rediculous thing ever.

so drew now wants to purchase a gun.
ash was slightly alarmed.
and everyone thinks the best part was that the only way i will ever get asked out on a date is with a misdemeanor involved.

bitches. gotta love my life.

|transmission ended|
Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: gothica in the background
6:30pm: nice... this was random.
user='miryham'> look good together? lol no
2) What planet should [info]mi_cheerboy19 be from? venus:)
3) Do you have [info]playwithlights's screenname? yes
4) What color should [info]this_is_kfest dye their hair? yellow! lol
5) Is [info]cowrulez introverted or extroverted? introverted
6) Is [info]stratacaster5 a nerd? YES!
7) Is [info]__q__ dead sexy? yeah baby;)
8) One thing you can't stand about [info]crazycontradude? i never see him!
9) Does [info]wild_cherry_pie know [info]miryham? nope
10) How long have you known [info]froggee501? since 8th grade
11) What do you agree with [info]modnareno about? i dunno
12) Have you ever dated [info]mistercheevo? nope
13) Is [info]cellopudding15 athletic? not really
14) What do you disagree with [info]thisisnotstaff about? nothing really
15) What flavor of jello would [info]flirtin_sweety be? lime
16) Have you flirted with [info]gutenburg? lol i dont believe so
17) Would you set up [info]sarie_lithtaur and [info]staffness? HAHA no.
18) Does [info]triumphantg drink? yeppers
19) Does [info]mlek4lyfe travel a lot? a little with school and stuff
20) Would [info]some1stolmyname be a better ninja or pirate? pirate
21) What comic book character would [info]poizonivy6786 be? poision ivy for batman of course!
22) [info]mistercheevo's hair color? brown last time i checked
23) How would [info]jporchanian kill [info]lackofname? lol nah they're both chill people
24) How long would [info]mi_cheerboy19 dating [info]rocketrobots last? like a second LOL
25) Is [info]rachierachrach your best friend? nope but i love her! :)



so nca and bmb this weekend... **crosses fingers** i hope i can survive this.

|transmission ended|
Current Mood: drained
Current Music: the shins

11th September 2005

3:31am: so... updates and such.
drew and i are better... a little talk helps sometimes. not pissed at him nemore. but i still think he just talks to me so hes not clueless for band;) HAHA

so thats about one of the people i considered really close friends that i can honestly say i can stand right now. which normally i would say blows... but right now not really seeing the crappiness in that. kinda over it... them for that matter if thats how they wanna be all the time. friends come and go. and everyone shows who they are after a while. so whatev.

newho... its like 4am. and i'm flippin tired... and i have church tomorrow. yes... church you assholes. and i'm flippin proud of it. so just shut the hell up about it. i'm sick of hearing it and it would be too soon if another person mentions it.

as a matter of fact!

let me just clear something up:
i stopped drinking cuz of my dad. NOT BECUZ OF CHURCH. OR A CERTAIN PERSON. i dont want to hear anymore accusations about me being a holier than tho born again christian when i still go out and attend parties. i just happen to not be drinking there. so everyone who has something to say about that just dont. and if i recieve one more crack or joke about me attending church/bible study/ or any church function what so ever:

i will fuck somebody up.

thats right... i dropped an F bomb. thats how serious i am.
if you dont believe in God thats fine, dont tell me i'm dumb for doing so when i'm not throwing a bible at you screaming "the power of christ compells me!!!" becuz your athiest and dont believe. so just shut up, live your life. and let me live mine. and dont pretend to be interested in changing your life style when you dont mean it. i take my faith very seriously and i'm not gonna just deal with you toying around with it. so dont come to me with that unless your genuinely mean it.


well i'm done being a bitch for one night. and i dont intend of having to repeat myself every again about that.

so i will leave you with some quizes to lighten the mood:)
goodnight all.

|transmission ended|


well this is just an awesome name.

that girl's got woe.

Recent Entries

You are viewing the most recent 25 entries.

12th December 2005

12:00am: that is so amazingly me!!!!
Your 2005 Song Is

Beverly Hills by Weezer

"My automobile is a piece of crap
My fashion sense is a little whack
And my friends are just as screwy as me"

You breezed through 2005 in your own funky style!




this song is my theme song. flat out... and thats amazing that i got it:)

my year in review:
pick the titles from the first update of each month and thats your year in review!

jan: happy fuckin new year to me.


feb: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
BAH!


mar: :D


april: oh so yummy still:)


may: well... about that.


june: yeah thats right bitches...


july: been a lil bit...


aug: yay!


sept: le sigh


oct: dunzo.


nov: sheesh oh petes...
man i need a nap..


dec: my heart hurts a little...


HAHA that was funny.
i just looked back on alot of shit i forgot that happened.
gotta love that. expecially my new years last year:) i think i'm gonna just post that neways just so you can all read it. i'll do that tomorrow. its seriously hilarious.

night loves
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: food network:)
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Your Band Name is:

The Plastic Vamps
Band Name Generator


sweet... i cant deal with 50%
You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!
How Weird Are You?


wow... random.
Your Fortune Is

7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.
The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator


LMFAO!... thats just about THE most amazing outcome ever.
You are
What Rejected Crayon Are You?
Current Mood: way better since venting.
Current Music: garden state on my tv:)
2 owls recieved s / send a howler.

8th September 2005

1:13am: blah...
had the day off today... got to sleep in a little. woke up around 10:30 cuz i had pet band and such... yeah that went well. they fed us neways.

then the crap with the rent started... yeah. bullshit. no other way to say it... so thats getting taken care of hopefully... pray on that please.

then there was regular band... a fight with my mom. coming home just to find more shiz that was never gonna change. and then the day just went stagnent after that.

but i will say this... my decision to stay in kzoo for the rest of college sometimes makes me think i'm retarded everytime history repeats itself around here with people. i mean you learn to just walk away and say, "wow... your retarded. and i'm just gonna not and say we did." but that really gets old after a while cuz people are dumb and dealing with dumb people gets old.

see... just like that sentence:)... redundant.
thats life here in kzoo. but i guess you gotta take some redundancy in order to get where you wanna go. and i guess sometimes you just have to be a huge jerk to make it too. cuz you cant just let people walk all over you, put words in your mouth and treat you like crap. its not worth it... and once they think they can get away with it what do you get?... redundancy.

SOOOO!
redundancy = retarded

and seeing as i have to work at 7am again... (see?! the redundancy continues.) i bid you all adu.

|transmission ended|
Current Mood: slightly aggrivated
Current Music: weezer: my names is jonas
3 owls recieved s / send a howler.

6th September 2005

1:08am: just about the hit the sheets....
opened today... i open tomorrow... why is God punishing me?! lol... i hate mornings.

i love my friends.

and i miss a certain person.
*sigh* sleep.

|transmission ended|


25 Questions You'd Never Think to Ask

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? my eyes for some reason... then the rest of my face. lol

2. How much cash do you have on you? prolly like nothing. but maybe a couple bucks in the wallet.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? mest. and thats where i am right now cuz i need some sleep like whoa!!!

4. Favorite plant? i love ivy plants... they grow forever. and look amazing while doing so:)

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? thats timmy:)

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? star wars episode I deul of fates! lol yes i'm that big of a dork:)

7. What shirt are you wearing? a wife beater... i felt like trying tonight:) lol

8. Do you "label" yourself? yes, i'm a person who struggles with every aspect of life... besides screwing up.

9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing? barefoot actually... but i'm partial to airwalks and DC's.

10. Bright or Dark Room? dark makes me happy... its easier to sleep the day away that way:)

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? who christi?... shes a reject. HAHA no jk.

12. Do you know what an 8-track is? why yes my lad i surely do!

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? driving around be flippin lost!!!

14. What did your last text message you recieved on your cell phone say? "we should go grocery shopping tonight cuz we have no food." HAHA

15. Do you ever click on Pop-ups or banners? yes! lets just invite spyware into my computer!!!:) joy rapture! lol... hecks no.

16.What's a saying that you say a lot? flippin pete!

17. Who told you they loved you last? drew! lol my roomie

18. Last furry thing you touched? nikki drew's cat ( beans' roomie lol)

19. How many hours a week do you work? around 40 actually.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? gosh prolly like 5 or so disposable cams... its bad i know

21.Favorite age you have been so far? 15 was the best year ever. i remember that clearly.

22. Your worst enemy? myself. lol... no seriously. and... george w. bush.

23. What is your current desk top picture? a very large "cheer up emo kid" button with stars!:)

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "so this jackass is pulling the same lines on all these girls! can you believe that?!?!" - me to drewbie

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to erase all of your regrets, what would you choose? the regrets. i'd rather be broke and happy... than rich and still remember some of the stuff that i wish i could take back.
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: the ac in the apartment:)
send a howler.

5th September 2005

1:39am: crap on a stick...
just about the crappiest night ever.

oh well... work at 7am tomorrow... that should life my spirits. NOT!

*sigh*... is it tuesday yet?!
i miss someone... alot.

|transmission ended|
Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: white stripes: i cant tell that we are gonna be friends
send a howler.

2nd September 2005

1:53am: le sigh...
JUST FOUND THIS IN CHRISTI'S LJ SO ITS BEING EDITED IN... SEE UNDER IT FOR ACTUAL ENTRY... THANK YOU, AND STAY CLASSY;)

YOU CAN ASK ME SIX QUESTIONS::
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
__________________________________________________
No matter how random, revealing, rude, naughty or pointless
__________________________________________________
I promise to answer them 100% truthfully
__________________________________________________
All questions are COMPLETELY confidential
__________________________________________________
[[[Repost this to see what others ask you...]]]
__________________________________________________
IF YOU DONT THEN YOU'RE SCARED OF WHAT PEOPLE MAY ASK

actual entry starts.... now. :)
remember those old pepe le pue cartoons that they used to play when we were little or saturday mornings?? and whenever the cat that always crawled under the fence and got a white stripe on her back from the wet paint was tired and bored or extreamly satified with the way her life was going before pepe tried to mollest her she'd always say, "le sigh" HAHA cuz it was sposed to be in french?!

yeah... i totally just remembered that. and thats how i've been feeling so you know i thought i'd use that as a title!

its just been odd lately. i havent been down at all... like everyone around me is taken, or engaged, or married for that matter. but i'm not. usually i really am and it gets to me and i'm all aingsty in this deal but its just not so!
i'm not really sure why, but i'm cool with it:)

i dunno, i think its partly cuz i'm sorta happier with myself than before. i quit drinking and i've stuck to it so far actually, i really dont think i'm gonna fall back into my old habits like my swearing is alot better now too. and i feel a TON better about that. and i havent been just jumping into meaningless things either *thats been a few months actually* and honestly i feel like a better person for that as well. his house meetings started back up today and it was awesome to be back there. its just a really peaceful environment. it just gets me through stuff... its hard to explain.

and i really do think theres another deal as to why i'm so... i dunno.. non-depressed? lol too. but theres seriously no explination for that seeing as it hasnt really gone newhere at all. but its the little things. the little things matter... alot.

CHRISTI!!! RYAN!!!! PAY ATTENTION TO THIS NEXT SECTION!

i called my sister today. we talked for like 2 hours... it was awesome. and we compared recent dreams we've had. and she definately had a dream that i was gonna get married in like 5 years or so to a slightly tall guy, that was rather handsome... blondish brown hair ( you know like highlights?) and we had 4 kids... all girls... one might have been a boy she couldnt remember.

now this is crazy.

cuz when my family has dreams... they come to pass. dont ask. they just do. we're odd like that, call us witches... call us lucky... call us nuts. whatever. it happens...
well after recent findings... that shall not be put into detail. lol
this lines up scarily with something... and i'm amazed by that actually. seeing as a few months ago i got my palm read and it told me the same thing... they couldnt make out if the 4th was a boy or not cuz that spot in my hand had a scar over it from drumming. which also lines up with something else that shall be not put into detail.

so i'm uber amazed at that really. and as ash knows i totally said something last night that was uber random. and when we say something it comes to pass in my family. especially when you say it absentmindedly... like if its totally subconcious. and it just slipped out... but i tell you. i'm not gonna argue:D lol.

ok you can stop paying attention now if you want guys lol

newho... i think the fact that things arent suckin in that deal is awesome... i mean its not like everythings swimming along amazingly. but i find myself being unable to be pessimistic whole heartedly about it. and as you all know who your reading about here... that takes alot for me. for some reason... i just cant seem to be down about this.

fingers crossed... everyone find some religion and pray for me. this one's gonna take all the help i can get lol.

i just know 3 things:

1. my hair is really short now.
2. i'm going to bed.

and

3. he's amazing.

|transmission ended|
Current Mood: unreasonably happy lol
Current Music: celtic-ey stuff from ash's laptop:)
12 owls recieved s / send a howler.

31st August 2005

1:41am: so yeah...
ever decided on something and then let some time pass and let people talk you back into it and you forget that those are the people that made you wanna be like EF THAT! yeah... thats totally me right now.

ef a 4th year of BMB.

i totally forgot about the bull, and the being spoken to like i'm 2. and the fact that it craps on my hands every season.

if i wanna make a world line and do what ive officially decided on in school i need to focuz. and being treated like crap at BMB is not focusing.

i mean you think that clicks are over once you leave HS... yeah no. they're not. as long as you join BMB! theyre still there waiting for you with open arms saying, "come to me! wanna feel like freshman year of highschool all over again? like when your trying to find a seat in the cafeteria? really! its fun!!!" yeah effin right.

liars.

bah to that. no more of that. last season for me.
so i'm looking foreward to getting back to work like whoa. i miss the people there and how theyre friendly. and how i've already established relationships with them and i dont have to pretend to be someone to prove myself. its awesome... and bible studies and his house start back up this thursday!:) so pumped for that... another group of people that rock.

and i made some other changes too... lets all pray that i can stick with them shall we?

no more drinking.
i dont wanna drink nemore. it worries my mom and dad. i could care less
if it bugs my mom honestly... but my dad. thats another story. thats how
my uncle died. and he was my dad's closest brother. so when my dad
expresses worry then i'm dunzo. and thats that. so i'll party and come
out. but dont ask me to drink. and dont think that i'm just gonna be
your DD either! cuz thats not happenin either! :P

not as much swearing.
my little neice is starting to make sounds and such... and around this
time when my nephew was my mother swore around him and his first word was
"damn" lol. so yeah no more swearing from me. plus my nephew is entering
PC middle this year:) and i dont want him to pick up the bad habbits i
did. and seeing as i'll be baby sitting them both this year no more
swearing for me. and i mean with what i'm planning to go into now thats
just not something i can do and keep my job.
but in all honesty... its just not attractive when you have a dirtier
mouth than your boyfriend girls:) lol... so there will be no more f bombs
in this here LJ!

thats that. lets hope i can keep with it.
everyone cross your fingers or pray a little prayer if you do that sort of thing:)

OOO! also... lets hope i can keep off the weight i lost shall we? somehow i dont see that happening so i'm not even gonna worry about it lol. but i am gonna try and eat healthier. **fingers crossed**

well its like 1:40 and i'm actually tired cuz band but me back on a normal sleep cycle... WHO KNEW?!?!? lol theres something good about it after all! *note heavy dose of sarcasm*

christi & ryan!!!... i officially suck.
and i give up... cuz i'm totally retarded and you know what so be it. ryan i'm pullin a you. and i'm just gonna effin let it all pan out. cuz seriously... theres a reason for everything. and there must be a reason i got back on this kick.. you know? so i'm just gonna pray on the whole thing and see... dont yell at me:(

|transmission ended|

P.S: i just had to edit this to make the stuff move accross the page cuz ashley's a poop head. and she knows how to do stuff... which makes her even more of a poophead.
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: beck: new pollution
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29th August 2005

1:39am: hmm...
yeah so... i'm happy camps over.

and i'm really sunburnt. if i had a digi cam i'd post pics lol... its bad.

and now i'm just dead tired. and i wanna sleep but theres just so much on my mind that i cant!
has that ever happened to you.

like something i promised myself i would never do again. i totally did.
and i dunno how i feel about that. christi you know what i'm talking about.

and i have no idea what to think or do about that. theres nothing i can do really... accept for just chill and let things happen as they will i sposed. i trust that God knows whats best for me.

and heres the other thing. people thinking that you cant be christian and punk and liberal all at once really bugs me.
i have a strong faith in God. and i love what anarchy stands for when it comes to our suck ass government. and i'm extreamly liberal for that reason. just becuz i believe people should be allowed to make their own choice when it comes to having kids or getting an abortion doesnt mean i would actually have one myself. its just the fact that i think making it so that people CANT make the choice to have one is just as much playing God as making it so that they CAN. i dunno if that made sense to anyone but it does to me.
i dunno. i just miss my bible study. and i miss church. i miss being around other people who understand that. and dont think i'm crazy that i wear a cross and i want an anarchy tattoo on my foot.
in the words of my wise roomie lol, "government and religion have nothing to do with eachother and people dont realize that. alot of people think they're conservative and its just becuz of their religious beliefs and they're not."
i agree.

bah... but that doesnt change the fact that i'm an idiot.
and that i've just totally asked for myself to be upset this entire year... cuz i know where its going.
and christi you have a HUGE point with what you said last night. but honestly we both know theres pretty much nothing short of a prayer and miricle that would make that be accurate for me.
i dunno, maybe i'm just doomed to be retarded.

either way... my duplex neighbor murial and i will have some fun times with that conasta and cats we'll be livin with. you can all come over and party! lol:) hot cocoa for everyone!

phshf... i'm hopeless.

|transmission ended|
Current Mood: cynical
Current Music: bend it like beckham on tv
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19th August 2005

4:34am: flippin laundry...
jeeez... i was just about out of underwear and so i figured i might wanna fix that!


so i did laundry... i went home. my mother was driving me crazy as soon as i walked in SO i called beans made something up and vacated. lol... washed over and her and ashleys for the night.

i missed bresa tho:( i'm sad cuz i promised someone i was gonna come and i feel really bad about not being there but i really didnt have the gas money... sadness. hopefully he wont be too mad about it. and we'll get to hang this weekend before band camp...

speaking of which!...

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRONCO BAND 2005!!!!! OMG SO PUMPED!!! lol...

starts this sunday.. and its gonna kick me in the face but i'm so pumped to be sore and sunburned and tired. i just love being exuasted with like 300 other people and bitching about it together as we bash the other MAC bands and most of the big ten bands as well lol... and then the anual president visit of fakeness and the random lunches provided and the drumline keggers... i just miss everyone so much. and its like a huge family... its gonna blow but its gonna be the best time of my life at the same time.

:)

but now i sleep... actually now i shower and change.. then i sleep.

|transmission ended|
Current Mood: totally chill
Current Music: steel magnolia's on my tv
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17th August 2005

2:36am: i suppose i should be sleeping...
but i'm not.

well that was interesting. chad passed out before we could get there lol...

and so i just stayed here and chatted it up with some peeps. like beans and nicole and dave... and yes people. the world is ending... ashley pond.
hahaha we both decided that seeing as that was all old hash and everyone should forgive and forget which we have we'll get to know eachother again and so thats what we're doing. we had a perfectly lovely convo and i think theres more to come:D so good for us!

lol but for those of you who know the back story... that gives a new meaning to turn the other cheek for both of us. and i think we should both be proud of how much we've grown up.

other than that... i'm hopeless on one thing. and much better on another.

dave was right. and i'm dunzo with that. and i will be fine. thanks for listening hun. :)

so i'm gonna eat some potatoes and draw a little before bed... goodnight people.

|transmission ended|
send a howler.

16th August 2005

11:45pm: haha... i love my icon.
work was crappy... but the people rock so you take your blessings as they come:)

and roxie and i have been talking and we know alot of the same people and i love how the stories match up! LOL... like some people really are assholes no matter who meets them:) i wont say any names... but thats just reassuring.

just thought i'd say that lol...

but i should be getting dressed cuz chad wants me to come over and sign him HAHA... thats gotta sound so odd:) lol

later loves.

|transmission ended|
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: leonard bernstein's - candide
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3:42am: hmmm...
well i had a hangover like whoa today HAHA... but you deal vodka does that to me. even if its just a sip! i hate it... i dont even have to be drunk for it to happen.

but i got dead aim. saw some people before they leave for the school year and found a song i've been trying to find for years! HAHA i love when that happens... and my LJ looks flippin sweet. so if you usually look at it through your friends page click on my link and see!:) and its not harry potter just so you people who arent a fan know.

but i'm all confuzzed really... but not. i dunno. yeah that equals confuzzledness so i guess i was right the first time.
it just doesnt make sense...!!!! its sad when someone treating you with respect and being nice to you is so out of the norm that your not used to it, and you dont know how to react.

oh well...

neways! i think i'm gonna go paint for beans and heres that song i found:) its so cute!!!! enjoy!

bus stop: the hollies

Bus stop, wet day, she's there, I say
Please share my umbrella
Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows
Under my umbrella

All that summer we enjoyed it
Wind and rain and shine
That umbrella, we employed it
By August, she was mine

Every morning I would see her waiting at the stop
Sometimes she'd shopped and she would show me what she bought
All the people stared as if we were both quite insane
Someday my name and hers are going to be the same

That's the way the whole thing started
Silly but it's true
Thinkin' of a sweet romance
Beginning in a queue

Came the sun the ice was melting
No more sheltering now
Nice to think that that umbrella
Led me to a vow

Every morning I would see her waiting at the stop
Sometimes she'd shopped and she would show me what she bought
Other people stared as if we were both quite insane
Someday my name and hers are going to be the same

Bus stop, wet day, she's there, I say
Please share my umbrella
Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows
Under my umbrella

All that summer we enjoyed it
Wind and rain and shine
That umbrella, we employed it
By August, she was mine

|transmission ended|
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: bus stop: the hollies
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15th August 2005

1:14am: mmmm... slightly buzzed:)
this i dont mind.

i'm not trashed at all.. just slightly buzzed. a little warm is all:)

i met roxanne tonight... and i must say despite rumors and such i get along quiet well with her... she seems to be a perfectly nice girl and she makes my asshole happy so thats all that matters:) she was nothing but sweet to me so i figure whatevers whatever you know?

so i say this now and you can quote me on it until she proves to me otherwise. which honestly... i dont think she will:):

roxanne,

you have been nothing but a complete sweetie since you walked through our door.
you make my best friend happy and seeing as hes just as bitter of a person as i am thats no easy task:) lol so i tell you this, i consider you a friend. and i hope that we can become closer friends in the future becuz i enjoy you being around.
this is my official stamp of approval... your awesome. you rock. and i couldnt think of a more down to earth beautiful person to date my roomie! ::HUGS!!::

heart! - tina


so, on another note... sorry drew. i didnt know the walls were that thin:D...
last night was interesting... it was ish's anual party and then a kegger at u club and then there was coming back here and recieving a very interesting im from a very hott boy and well the night continued to be interesting... and i am not complaining:) although i am slightly confused... actually not really. but sorta. like i dunno whats expected to come of this... cuz i'm not a trophy. and he strikes me as someone whos looking for that. so its kinda odd in all honesty... but i guess i'm pretty whatever about it. its just like are you kidding me?! sometimes...

but i'm craving sleep and its 2am... odd for me i know. but i need to crash... no work tomorrow:) i'm so pumped about that honestly... i love the people i work with. its just that sometimes it takes alot out of you to deal with people 8 hours a day... sometimes i dont wanna talk! lol... yes i said that... so shh damnit.

|transmission ended|
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: random noises from the living room
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